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| The River Reporter Thursday, March 20, 1986, p. 9 Exploring options for victims of spouse abuseWAYNE COUNTY - Crisis counseling for victims of spouse-abuse, sexual assault, and rape is among the services offered by the Women's Resource Center in Honesdale. The center's staff has a heavy caseload. Consider the following nationwide figures:
Beth Martin, the full-time staff counselor who directs the Women's Resource Center, said that she has met with dozens of local women who have been beaten, assaulted, raped, and otherwise abused by men. The agency has been in operation since August 1984. As she cares for her clients and is frustrated by those who continue in abuse situations, Martin said she enjoys her work. It satisfies her, she told The River Reporter in a recent interview, to be a part of a process which enables women who have been victimized to stand up and take control of their lives. "Women are conditioned in our society to accept what a man says and what a man does," Martin stated. She views part of her function as a counselor to help her clients see all the choices open to them. "We encourage a woman to make her own decisions. We make her aware of the options available to her," said Martin. Beth Martin's empathy comes in part from her own experience, which gives her a special understanding. "I almost married a man who was very abusive," she shared. "It was more emotional than physical, but there are all types of abuse." Martin described how in many romantic relationships, the meaning of the word "love" becomes distorted. Such relationships are often dominated by mistrust, jealousy, and possessiveness, she said. These feelings, often stemming from emotional insecurities in the man, can lead to what clinicians sometimes call the "cycle of abuse" or "cycle of violence." This cycle, Martin explained, begins with a "honeymoon phase" where the couple lives together in what may seem like paradise -- for a time. As time goes on, tension begins to build in the relationship. The abuser instigates minor incidents of physical or emotional maltreatment. At first, Martin said, the victim may feel able to control the abuser's behavior, but soon realizes the fallacy of this belief. As the cycle enters its final phase, one partner (almost always the woman) becomes the object of severe beating or other violent episodes. The batterer appears to have completely lost control. Victims, sensing this, sometimes react passively to avoid further attack. Some, however, fight back, but with widely varying results, Martin cautioned. "I think it's important to note that the cycle continues unless one or the other partner gets help," Martin said. Many victims of spouse abuse fear for their lives or for the safety of their children. For this reason the Women's Resource Center provides "safe homes," located at various sites around Wayne and surrounding counties. The exact location of a woman in placement is kept secret, to protect her from her abuser. Safe homes are provided by volunteers who agree to temporarily house, feed, and provide emotional support to the victim and any children. Martin recalled a number of times where abusers have called the women's hotline to demand to know where they wives. were. "We don't tell them a thing," she said. Confidentiality is a watchword at the center. Why do abused wives continue in their relationships? Martin said the answer varies. Some women are ashamed of what has been done to them, or fear reprisals against themselves or their children if they report the abuse. Others have difficulty overcoming a fear of helplessness and an inability to make decisions. Still other women feel that they belong to their husbands or are in some way responsible for the abuse. Martin said that at the Resource Center, "We do not provide services to abusers. We refer abusers to other service agencies in the community." Substance abusers are frequently referred to Trehab for example, or others to the Tri-County Mental Health/Mental Retardation Program (MH/MR) for individual and family counseling. It is very rare, Martin said, that the Women's Resource Center will refer a woman for counseling. "Historically, battered women have been labeled 'crazy' or 'sick.' We try to refrain from stigmatizing women by placing them in the mental health system," Martin stated. Likewise, an abusive husband is neither "sick" nor "insane." He is a responsible adult who has learned to vent his anger in destructive and violent ways. Traditional American culture subtly, and not so subtly, teaches men that women may be owned and their bodies and emotions used or abused at will. while the vast majority of reported cases of spouse abuse involve the woman as victim, Martin has seen two cases in the last year where men have called the hotline to report being physically abused. In the same period, 30 women reported physical battery. "We don't discriminate against men," Martin explained, adding that the center offers the same services to battered men as to battered women. "It's just that men are much less likely to report," she said. Martin attributed the statistical discrepancy in incidence of which spouse is likely to be victimized to cultural factors. "Men are socialized to be strong, not show emotion and not admit weakness." It may be that these very psychological traits contribute to male violence against women. The Women's Resource Center in Honesdale is a satellite agency of the center in Scranton. It receives federal, state, and private funding. The agency is presently staffed by Beth Martin as counselor and Barbara Little as coordinator of 28 volunteer workers. The agency also contracts with Chris Daniels; professional answering service to staff the 24-hour hotline.
Volunteer training sessions will be held each Tuesday and Thursday evening in April. For more information or services offered by the center, or to volunteer support, readers may contact Martin at [570] 253-4401.
The agency discussed here is now called the Victims Intervention Program. Still based in Honesdale, it maintains two 24-hour hotlines:(570) 253-4401 and (800) 698-4VIP VIP can also be reached at:
PO Box 986, Honesdale PA 18431 Updated 07-01-1999
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© 1985-2006, Tom Rue. All rights reserved.
