The following column appeared in The River Reporter on April 1, 1982 and republished on February 18, 1999.

Between the lines

By Bert S. Feldman
The Recusant Reporter

We have become involved in what we think is a wonderful program, here in Sullivan County, a program to fight illiteracy. Volunteer tutors are being trained in the Laubach method of individually teaching persons over the age of 16 to read and write. This problem of illiteracy affects all of us, not only the ones condemned to remain at the bottom of the economic ladder due to their inability to read the driving manual, fill out a job application, read a menu, understand printed instructions or enjoy the pleasure s of he written word. Did you know that there are 2,521 persons within the boundaries of our county who cannot read beyond a fifth grade level? That 16 percent of our local populations is stymied in their reading at an eight grade plateau? How many cannot read at all is now known for sure, but indications show a sizeable number are so handicapped.

* * * We received a note from Algernon Swishbuttle, Poet Laureate of the Upper Delaware, who has been thrown into a swoon over seeing the first blade of green plowing its nose through the slush. Here is his contribution: Spring is here, The river's riz; I wonder where, The flower is. How come if, The river rose; The water pipes, Still are froze.

* * * Now that the shad are running in the Delaware, we must tell our annual shad story (please forgive us.) It seems that there was an old Indian who fished for the silvery beauties in our river, and then smoked his catch on framework which stood next to his shanty where he kept his sleeping bag and other gear he used during the shad run. Well, it seems that one day he let this fire get too high and it got out of control and burned everything. The insurance adjuster came along and asked what the poor old Indian had lost. "Everything", he said, "Me shack, shad-rack and a bedding roll."

* * * Materia medica department: Who are pleased to inform our readers that a new physician will be opening offices this month in the Town of Bethel. Dr. Joy Mendelsohn will be located on Route 17B, in the village of White Lake. Welcome to our midst, doctor, and we love you already.

* * * We relinquish the old Philosopher's spot this week to our favorite philosopher, Mark Twain, who said: "Adam was but human, this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.

* * * Due to the overwhelming response (we got one call) for our local history quiz, we ask the following: what was the relationship of the first doctor in the Town of Highland to the Town of Tusten. Answer (hopefully) in our next column.




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