Explanation

In 1976, when she was 66 years old, I gave my grandmother a blank diary book and asked her to use it to record thoughts and activities which she would like to have remembered by posterity. She told me she misplaced the volume I gave her and instead used an old green blank book she had lying around, entitled "1970 Page-a-Day" for the same purpose. Much of the book is consumed by calculations and appointments and the like, both in her handwriting and that of her late husband. Some of the dates in August are corrected to read for 1976, with the following text in her handwriting. One line of writing, appearing in red ink and which says "Grave unpaid $150," may have been entered during her initial use of the diary book, prior to use for writing.

The book was given to me by my father, Clyde B. "Bud" Rue, after my grandmother's death. A lengthier autobiographical statment may be found here; and another account of her family's early life, written by her younger sister here. --TSR

Friday, August 26, 1976.

Arthur has been gone since Dec. 1972 [1973]. I'd give anything in the world to have him back, but what has been will never be again.

I guess I have to learn to appreciate what is left to me.

I spent the evening with Joe and Paul & Jo Ann. It was a nice evening. What happens tomorrow? One day at a time is all I can do. I must learn to stop grieving and make life worth living again.

Saturday, August 27, 1976.

Hair done at 8 A.M. at Ruth's (ow her $2.00). Signed papers for them to be released for the new cardiology consent. September 10th.

Joe came over and spent the evning. I fixed supper for him. Chicken with rice and a corn pudding and a large salad.

I asked him if he was still able to perform the sex act. He talked all around it but finally said he didn't think so. He leaves for Montreal tomorrow.

Sunday, August 28, 1976.

No church today. Didn't wake up until after 9 A.M. Got up, cleaned three dresser drawers. Later I will have lunch with Lavina and her granddaughter. Had lunch with Lavina and her grand daughter. Went to Lee Wright's and had fried chicken. Afterwards went to Walled Lake Flea Market to look for box I didn't buy last week, it had been sold. Talked to Gladys and Beulah on the phone.

Joe is gone and I am scared. I didn't realize how much security he gave me.

Monday, August 29, 1976.

Monday, 6 A.M. Why am I awake? There have been days in my life when I had to be at work by this time. Now I wake with a feeling of grief and loss. Life is like quick silver. I can't hold onto it. It's running away from me, and there's no goal, no reason to be awake at all today because the needs of the day are not real needs at all, just living without reason. (over)

Monday, August 30, 1976.

Got my dates mixed up. Had car washed, waxed. Mailed Bud bib overalls and granola.

Called Mr. Rom and he'll take the car Wednesday and do tune up, oil, grease, rotate tires. Mailed Mable gas bill. Have had a busy day.

Called Bill Brown. They'll look at the rust on Thursday early. Maybe they'll fix that small area in the back too (for a price.)

I'm to call Union in October about health care.

Tuesday, August 31, 197[6].

Ann and Jean came over and Ann cleaned the frig. Washed the dishes, vacuumed the floor. Jean went up stairs and brought down a lot more dolls and now I can catalogue them.

I paid two more bills. My Hudson and life insurance. We went to toys (Jean and I) and met Jessie and Lavina. When it was over we went to Denango. I lost 1 lb. I haven't gained weight since May and I've lost 9½ lbs. in that time. Tomorrow Mr. Rom takes the car for tune-up, ect.

Wednesday, September 1, 1976.

Grave unpaid $150.

Oh what a beautiful morning. A beautiful way to wake up. Jim and Roz called me. It was 4 A.M. there, must have been 3:30 because it was 6:30 here. I know they don't realize what calling me, and particularly early in the morning, did for me. Some days I wake up crying. Someday I'll tell them. What a way to start the day. Life is good good good.

FAMILY WRITINGS